Saturday, September 12, 2015

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Same old same old

Medical professionals are SOOO stuck in the idea that they have the power to cure you. No offense Brad, but that has been my experience.  No one has the power to cure you but YOU.  Whether its a common cold or cancer, you have to want to become "healthy".  And when a medical professional doesnt take that into account, they are failing in their job.

So my counselor had to cancel my appointmment as she had a sick little one.  Unfortunately, our schedules didnt mesh for two weeks.  So I decided maybe I should go back to my psychiatrist and see if he could help me get started on "behavior modification".  I had been a little jittery for the previous two days and wondered if maybe I needed to reduce my dosage.  Not a good idea.  Started with "if you arent feeling drastically different, you dont have ADHD", went to "what has happened since we last visited?" (as if he was stupefied that I wasnt cured), and finished with "we need to try a higher dose".  ALL of the research I have done points to the meds only being able to help you become able to train yourself to modify behaviors.  No cure-all.  Maybe in people who cant function socially at all.  I had it right all along when I told him I am looking for help in modifying my behaviors and learning when I need to be aware of situations that will require me to think first, act second.  I need counseling, not a psychiatrist.

On a good note, my research has led to one benefit.  I have realized that I have a hard time with resisting impulses.  The ADHD brain is a VERY active brain.  I am always thinking.  Sometimes to the point that I forget where I am driving.  I drive by my stops all the time if I dont concentrate.  So if an idea comes into my head, I have to get it out...now!!  So I pick up my phone and start texting...while I'm driving.  Step one....pick up phone and dictate idea into my Notes App.  I also have a hard time not answering texts while I am driving.  Immediately, no matter what I am doing, like driving in heavy traffic.  Step two...I asked the people that text me the most to stop texting me when I am likely to be at work.  Call me.  PLEASE!!  I can mostly talk and drive.  I do believe the meds are helping me to concentrate on the call AND remember to stop where I should.  Also, I have been consciously THINKING of just taking a quick read of a text and waiting to answer until my vehicle is not moving.  And I am using the dictation function on my phone to avoid taking my eyes off the road.  Baby steps :}